wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
if it’s late enough and you’re lonely enough, the carly rae jepsen lyric “before you came into my life i missed you so bad” starts seeming increasingly deep and emotionally complex
3:02 AM and this fucking lyric looks like fucking nietzsche
stare into the abyss and the abyss will call you maybe
- Mom: ' well you need to call them and ask.'
- Me: I dont think you understand how much i cannot do that.